09 March, 2011

Missing my Dad

After seeing how sick my Dad had gotten, I struggled throughout the whole year.  I was always fearing the worst because I knew it was nearing every day, yet I was as positive as possible for my Dad.  I didn't want to talk to him about his condition because I wanted to talk to my dad and make him feel comfortable... like there wasn't anything wrong with him. 

Was it wrong for me to think like this?  Was I in denial? 

From the day I had lost my Dad, my heart was torn to pieces and he'd taken a huge chunk of it with him.  I think about you every day Dad.  Especially when problems arise for me, I'm down, stressed, or just need to hear my Dad's voice.  I always have the urge to call you like I always did, just to chat and see how you were doing.  I miss those days. 

I hear your voice as if you're in the room with me, and I feel you holding me.  I think about all the wonderful things you have taught me throughout the years.  You taught me to work on my own car, use all of your woodworking tools, how to be strong in all I do, and how to always be there for someone.  You were always there for me whenever I needed you. 

On October, 26th 2010, just one week before your 70th birthday... I lost you.  Daddy, I will never forget your last words to me "I love you".  I will never forget the moment before you left, as you reached out for my hand and squeezed it so strongly and reached for your loving wife.  Then you drifted off and left us behind for you to watch over us.    I cry uncontrollably at the most oddest moments just because my heart hurts so deeply. 

He instilled in our hearts his traits, which we will carry on to our own, and the continuing generations.

He will be in God’s kingdom where he will maintain and beautify the gardens of heaven; preparing it to it’s best for when we, ourselves reunite with him.

The following is a poem I wrote about my father, David Lawrence Whetman.  I had recited this at his services. 

My Daddy, My Hero

In the many times
Of stress and strife
You always seemed
To give me life

A true friend we can turn to
When times are good or bad
And one of our greatest blessings
Is the man we call "Dad"

For every single day of my life
You have been there
As my protector, provider and advisor
Through all the struggle and strife

I would be lost
If you hadn't shown me the way
I don't know if I would have made it
Without you from day to day

I am so very lucky
For all you have done
Out of all Dad's
You're the very best one!

You were like a rock
Strong, faithful and true
What to do with my life
Now that I don't have you.

I was your last born
Daddy's little girl
You called me your peanut
And told me I was part of your world

You never looked for praises
And you were never one to boast
You just went on quietly working
For those you loved the most

Your dreams were seldom spoken
And your wants were very few
And most of the time your worries
Went unspoken too

You were there... a firm foundation
Through all our storms of life
A sturdy hand to hold
Through all the trouble, trials and strife

I love you now
As I did until then
I just hope one day
That I will see you again

I am so proud of you
Brave and strong to the end
Now when we ask "how are you"
There's no need to pretend

I always love you
You're my Dad and shining star
Now my pain is
To worship you from afar

While in God's Kingdom
The gardens you will stay
In which you'll prepare
Because we'll make the journey someday

When I was a baby
You would hold me in your arms
I felt the love and tenderness
Keeping me safe from harm

I would look up into your eyes
And all the love I would see
How did I get so lucky
You were the Dad chosen for me

There is something special
About a father's love
Seems it was sent to me
From someplace up above

Our love is everlasting
I just wanted you to know
That you're my special hero
And I wanted to tell you so

I love you Daddy! We ALL love you and miss you so much, sleep well and take care of God's garden for us.

PS - I can thank my wonderful niece, Mellisa for editing the wonderful photo of my Dad up top.  :) 
She does wonderful photography and editing, you can visit her page at:  http://mellisasmoments.blogspot.com/  to view more of her work. 


Evertsen Clan said...

My heart aches for you, but I know you all to well. You are a strong woman. You are like that girl you daddy made to be strong and weak at the same time. You will get through this. Look for those butterflies... Love you

Child at Play said...

Thanks Shannon, I DO look for those butterflies. I'm just waiting for the day when I see them all the time. (: just to know he's visiting me. Thanks for always being there for me. <3

Dan.Eliot said...

As a single dad I am very happy to have what some would perceive to be a “small family”. three children, two dogs, one cat, and yes the pets are part of our family. It’s not the size of the family that counts but the family inside that counts. Have a great day....

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